One of my last episodes entailed a scream and a very loud cry for help.
I was sick and tired of where I was and how I was feeling.
I kept it all bottled in.
Suddenly, I became a volcano that erupted with very hot lava and it just came out with a vengeance. Like the lava not only boiled inside of me, but the height at which all my emotions came was high and fast…
I was tired.
I was angry.
I was sad.
I was stressed.
I was not myself anymore.
Then this song came:
“I am no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
From my Mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again into Your family
Your blood flows through my veins
You split the sea so I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me so I could stand and sing
I am a child of God”
My biggest fear was that I would not be able to fight this good fight well because of my condition. I was afraid that I was failing at this thing called life…failing as a wife and Mom.
But the song reminded me of something about me…I am a child of God.
Fear has NO grip on my life.
Fear does NOT have me.
Fear is NOT going to kill me.
You see, I am a child of God.
As I have said before in other posts, I am not less of a believer in Christ because of mental illness. I am a child of the King of Kings! Sometimes in these episodes, I forget that I am His…that no matter what, He is always with me. I may not understand why things are the way they are but He sees everything. He knows what’s going on. He is always where I am and I can’t go anywhere where His presence is not around or with me! That is how much He loves me! As far as fighting well, we just need to STAND! He is fighting for us! He has the Victory!
