I won’t listen anymore!

Two comments that I have let rule my life the past few years:

“You are not fit to be in this Pre-Med program, you need to look for something else to do.”

I took it as something that I was not fit to try new things because I would not succeed.

“You are a dreamer who wants to do a lot of things that just is IMPOSSIBLE for you to do.”

 This really put a damper on my ability to dream about things.

I went into college with high hopes of being in the pre-med program so I could be a doctor one day like my Grandpa and my Aunt. The first comment was from my Chemistry professor who at the time, glared at you for even asking him to explain the equation on the board, I made it half way through the first semester, but then he asked to meet with me and he said those words. I spent a week trying to re-evaluate my life because my big dream was just completely squashed! I spent many nights wondering, “I thought, YOU called me to do that, God?”

The next comment was made by a friend during my sophomore year, although, that comment was not something you would expect a friend to tell you. We were talking about what I wanted to do ministry wise and this is what the friend said. Sigh!

Those two comments have really played a huge role in shutting me down from pursuing things. NOT only that, there were things I thought that God would lead me to do, but I would not do it because of those discouraging words. For the past years, I have let the devil really use those words to stop me from dreaming and have this attitude:

 “Why would I even try because it is not going to work out anyway?”  Or “I just can’t do it!”

If anyone has ever told you hurtful things, they affect you and those are things that you will never forget. Sometimes, they serve as mighty weapons for the devil to use against you to make you even weaker in your faith.

I share this because God has really shown me in the past year how those 2 comments made to me have really affected my calling. I wouldn’t obey what God was asking of me because I was afraid of not succeeding. I basically STOPPED Dreaming and stopped TRYING! God has been really working on me…

When we started being senior pastors of a church, I felt like there were so many expectations to meet so I never tried in the beginning to do any of them.  About 2 years ago, because of  Chris’ work schedule, I was asked to teach Bible study on Wednesday nights. That was like pulling teeth to get me to even start teaching Bible study because I felt so insignificant and incapable. Now, I don’t feel like I have mastered the skill of teaching Bible study, but I feel more comfortable of teaching. God is teaching me to obey Him and that I am not trying to please the people, but to share the Word of God. This past September, I signed up to take EMT classes and I was so pumped to start. The first few weeks, the devil really used those words to hurt me and discourage me, like I had made a mistake in trying to pursue my dreams once again! Those are just two examples of how I have let those old comments affect me!

I know the things God has laid upon my heart to do and I am slowly doing them…it definitely isn’t easy because I am being stretched in ways un-imaginable to me, but I believe that I am doing what God wants me to do. I have been learning that all my plans need to be submitted to Him daily, to see if it is ALL according to HIS WILL and if NOT, then I need to LET GO of those plans that aren’t a part of His plans for me.

I do have weak moments, but I am not listening to those comments made to me anymore and I am not letting the devil use those words to discourage me anymore! I am His Kid and I will listen to the things He is telling me and I will dwell on the things that He says about me and not what others say about me.

These are the verses that I have really dwelled on to help me get over the effects of those comments:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” Psalm 37:4-5

 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord…” Jeremiah 29:11-14a