It has been a while since my last post and I am so sorry for long hiatus! It has been a crazy time since I last posted. I was preparing for a school Christmas play with my students and finishing up 2 classes with finals the same weekend. WHOA!! With God, I survived it all! LOL! Now, all the laundry and the dishes piled up. The house kind of got super messy and I have to be honest…Chris and I win for gift-giving of the year with our kids. We were set to travel after our Christmas eve service so, we gave our kids gifts on the 23rd so they would have time to play with them. Anyway, we were all battling sickness and I was just trying to finish everything. We gave our children their gifts in the shopping bags. The kids were pleased either way…but we feel guilty still. It was quiet a memorable time and Christmas. We got to go south and be with family and we loved every minute of it!
The holiday season can be a time of wonder, enjoyment and sometimes even chaos.
I don’t know about you, but I know as a person who has struggled with depression and to top it off, as an introvert in nature, times like these can be more than overwhelming! With so much to do, shopping, wrapping gifts (that, obviously was not done this year) and being with family and friends can send you on a roller coaster of emotions.
With the New Year coming, everyone is writing out their resolutions or coming up with a 1-word theme for the year. I want to challenge each one of you, not just with one word, but a phrase…Steady on, my dear friend. I know there are times where you can’t see the light of tomorrow and that you feel like you are drowning in the depths of despair. I want to challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror each day and say that “I matter and I am important. I am here on earth because God put me here. He is not done with me yet. My story has not ended. I will not give up.”
I know what you are thinking, “this girl, DOES NOT get it!” Yes, I do. I get it. This year has been the most rewarding and the toughest for me. I had breakdowns to the point where I plotted running away from me, all my emotions and from my family. There was an evening where I drove away sobbing into the phone with my Dad because I realized *again* that I am “sick” and will not get better without any kind of help. This year humbled me, I needed help and found help. Not just by telling people about what was happening with me, but also getting the medical help I needed.
You know what? Even in my darkest moments in 2016, I know with my whole heart that God was and still is ever with me. I still found that little ounce of faith knowing that He was and will always be with me. Even though I was struggling, I knew that maybe somehow, there was a purpose for what I was going through. Believe me, I hate every part of it and I hate being depressed. This whole clinical depression thing: is no joke and is not something to be taken lightly. I have learned more and more, with such episodes that I truly cannot face any of it alone. I need help and I needed to be surrounded by my family, counselor and doctor.
So, before I sign off from this post, I want you to know that you must continue to “steady on.” Don’t give up! As I type this, I am saying this to myself. Keep the faith! Keep trusting! Keep believing that you matter!