As a family we have embarked on the 21 day fast by fasting the television. As a parent, I have become so dependent on the television for the girls, especially in the morning as I prepare their breakfast or even when I get in the shower. So, without my little crutch, I have been moved into a little uncomfortable and not so easy time in my life…who knew I would miss the television this much! The girls on the other hand, don’t really watch it when it’s on so it has made no difference. We are only on our third day and it’s been a great feeling knowing that we haven’t turned on the TV for the past two days but today, I had a little compromise because we have been snowed in so I let the girls watch 2 short movies. I feel bad, but what do you do with 2 toddlers that cannot go outside to play or go anywhere because of the weather? You can only color and do crafts 50 million times before they get bored to death!
I have entitled this Life and all that really matters is because the past two days, I have been really thinking of the things that have bogged me down and making my life so busy that sometimes I have missed out on reading about God’s wonderful promises for my life and family and even miss out on hearing from Him because of my laziness in saying a prayer or two before the day starts or ends! Bottom line, it’s not because I have been busy at all—it’s just out of pure laziness that I miss out on my daily walk with the Lord because I try to replace it with other things!
My goal for the next 19 days of this fast is to immerse myself in the fullness of God! We have been playing a ton of praise and worship music in the house and it has been so great to feel the presence of God in all the songs that we have been listening to! What really matters is my time with God! He has given me so much that I fail everyday to thank Him! I want to know Christ more than I have ever known Him before! A word was given Sunday, “Why do you hold back from me?” says, the Lord, “Don’t you know that I keep trying to get your attention but you fail to give me your all? I want you to get to know Me once again so that I can tell you all the things I have planned for you!”
I don’t want to hold anything back anymore! I want to feel my God singing over me like it says in Zephaniah 3:17 and I want to know without a doubt that He is always listening and hearing my cry! That He will always be there for me no matter what! How can I be so confident of all this, it’s through spending time in the presence of my Lord and getting to know Him more by opening myself up to Him everyday. Consecrating my life to Him and letting Him be the center of all things! God is forming this Godly fear inside of my heart and even Chris’-not to move or act if it’s not God’s will because there are repercussions of not listening! There is grace for sure, but nothing beats knowing for sure that you are definitely doing what God wants you to do! I want more and more of what God has to offer me and for a long time, I have held back because I wanted to do my own thing! I cannot find my own answers to life, only God has the answers because He is my Creator! That is what matters most!
