On my last post, I wrote about praying this prayer:
“If all this STUFF, the hard stuff, the things that kind of really rocks my thinking and challenges my faith. If all of this is happening just so You can get my attention, to draw me closer to You, to know Who You are and what You are able to do in me, to show me You are real so that I can tell others about You and Your Faithfulness—then, LET IT BE! Do what You need to, so that people will see You through the way I react, the way I praise, the way I live, just simply the way I make it! I am Your child, Have Your Way in me! Amen!”
I often neglect to explain to you all, that no matter how bad I feel things may get-God has brought me so much HOPE and JOY, in the midst of everything!
I remember when Bella was 2, got sick with bacteria in her blood 2 months after we arrived in Maine. It was scary at how deathly ill she looked, but yet, Chris and I felt so much peace. In that time, the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with her till after a series of tests that confirmed she had bacteremia and God enabled us to pray this prayer-not sure how this even came out in words that were audible; “God, let Your will be done!” As sick as she was, she kept singing, “Savior, He can move the mountains, My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save…” We didn’t realize the seriousness of her illness till the doctors told us we could have lost her.
The HOPE and PEACE was there…
I remember when I sat on the edge of the hospital bed beside Zac last year, not knowing why he was sick, not knowing why the doctors had no answers, thinking and praying…asking God to forgive my doubt and my lack of faith. I kept praying for God to send us doctors who would just tell us “Why?” And “What in the world is wrong with him, why isn’t he growing, why isn’t he gaining weight, why does he get sick, why does he pass out?” But even when I was weak in my faith, and even though there weren’t answers provided, God would give me HOPE. He shows me constantly at how He was and is taking care of Zac, like finally giving us a doctor who keeps pushing for answers, which she is still doing now!
These are just a few instances, that I share with you about my Hope. I have also met people, read stories about people who have lost everything, even their children. Even when life tells them to give up because they have lost everything-they continue ON with life because they serve God, because their HOPE is in the ETERNAL! READ THE BOOK of JOB! If you ask me, why do I believe in God? How can you believe in something you do not see? Well, I don’t have a HUGE theological explanation for you. All I can say is, I believe in God, not only because He loved me so much because He died on the cross for all the wrongs that I have ever done and will do, but because of the Hope that He gives me to just face each day, each struggle, each joy! I have seen the way He has turned my heart in times of doubt because of my fears and turned it towards the plans that He has for me, not the plans that I have for myself. I have experienced His unconditional Love for me, especially in my imperfect ways. I have experienced His grace each day as I help raise our kids with Chris and live life daily. I mess up, but yet, He doesn’t punish me like the way I totally deserve because He already did that on the Cross! My Hope in God is simply enough for me to live each day, knowing that all THIS(life) is just temporary and that my eternity is sure in Heaven with Him because I know Him!
You can have this HOPE today!
