“Suffering is never for nothing.” Elisabeth Elliot
I have seen the Lord do some amazing and magnificent things in the course of my almost 43 years of life, so how come this struggle seems different from before?
I have seen the Lord heal, deliver, and restore my life and others’ lives from the pits of despair.
I have seen God make the impossible possible.
So, what is it about the last year, that made me question everything that God has done or maybe, not question but FORGET the miracles, the answered prayers, the moments where He took all the ashes and turned them into something so beautiful? Is it because I experienced a type of hurt that a child shouldn’t feel? Is it because a person I never wanted to disappoint, disappointed me? I don’t really know the answer to that, but I have learned something about myself—I am so stubborn, and sometimes, it feels so much better to sit in the struggle, whine about it, and get so unbelievably angry and stay there.
BUT, as I sit in this awful puddle of complaints, and my heart seems as if it would turn cold, Your voice, it truly beckons me—draw near to me…I have everything that you can possibly ever need right now, why aren’t you seeking my face? Why aren’t you sitting in my presence like you once did? Why are you making yourself so comfortable sitting in this mess rather than bringing it to Me?
When You were on Your way to the cross, even in Your humanity, You asked the Heavenly Father to take this cup from YOU! You knew the type of suffering that was coming, but yet, You said, “Nevertheless.”
You were rejected not just by men but by the Heavenly Father because of our sins You carried.
You were beaten and bruised, You were nailed to the cross because You knew this suffering was going to bring so much life to those who needed it.
Your “nevertheless” became a prize for me.
To understand the cost of Your “Nevertheless” means I see that my struggles are light and momentary. Your “ nevertheless” showed full submission to the will of the Father.
You see, You understand the strong feelings I have while walking through a struggle and You are loving me every step of the way.
You aren’t picking on me and You aren’t punishing me either.
Trials come to grow me into Your likeness.
To show me that You are Sovereign even in my deepest hurts, in my joys and even in the in-between.
Through these things, You have shown Yourself to be:
Trustworthy
Faithful
Constant
Loving
Lifter of my head
My Rock and my Firm Foundation
Good
My Hope
Dear Lord, I come to You knowing I am in desperate need of my Savior! While I struggle to understand why things seem to be more difficult than other struggles before, it’s okay. You are walking, leading and guiding me through this. You understand me well and really, all You ask is for me to come to You with it all, ALL that’s in my heart. So, Lord, I give it to You, take it, do with whatever THIS IS, as You will. I submit myself to You and believe that You will also turn this beauty from ashes, all for Your glory. In Jesus Name, Amen!
Psalm 27
The LORD Is My Light and My Salvation
Of David.
[1] The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
[2] When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
[3] Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.
[4] One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.
[5] For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
[6] And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.
[7] Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
[8] You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
[9] Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
[10] For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will take me in.
[11] Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
[12] Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
[13] I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
[14] Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!
