I was ashamed to admit that I had depression and I didn’t tell anyone till 2 years ago about my struggle. I was so afraid of what it may mean to have to depression. In my mind, a person who believes in God and trusts in Him and believe that He is the Healer and ALL of who God is, couldn’t possibly be ever depressed? I mean, He IS the SOURCE of our Joy, right? How could I lose my joy? How could I not see the good in anything?? I felt like withdrawing but couldn’t…Read More →

In 2014, I shared with the whole world what I was facing! I remember the day so vividly because I feel as though I had hurt some family and friends in the process by not telling them about the REAL me, my REAL struggle with depression. I knew God was asking me to share about it. I fought and pleaded to the Lord but He won, of course, and I could not shake the calling to share and so I did. I know that the postpartum depression started shortly after Bella was born and carried through past Gabbi and even Zac. I look back onRead More →

I am an emotional train wreck, full of ups and downs, full of discontent when I lose myself in myself… Life as I make it, can be completely messy and hard… When I lose sight of God, this is what I see. When I just completely see all the things that I am working on, the things that I have not completely surrendered to God and try to fix on my own, all I see is failure! In my place of surrender, I see ALL the Beauty in the ashes that God made completely for me, just for me! That in the depths of my despair,Read More →

 On my last post, I wrote about praying this prayer: “If all this STUFF, the hard stuff, the things that kind of really rocks my thinking and challenges my faith. If all of this is happening just so You can get my attention, to draw me closer to You, to know Who You are and what You are able to do in me, to show me You are real so that I can tell others about You and Your Faithfulness—then, LET IT BE! Do what You need to, so that people will see You through the way I react, the way I praise, the wayRead More →