A long time ago, a story of the Kintsugi art of repairing broken ceramics with lacquer and gold or silver or platinum powder “related to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi which states the importance of embracing imperfection in our lives and reminds us that something can break and yet still be beautiful, and that, once repaired, it is stronger at the broken places.”
The story hit me because while I was dealing with the clinical depression and other struggles, I read about Elisabeth Elliot where she shared about how our struggle is never wasted and whatever we go through, no matter how hard, there is a reason for it. Most of the time, it’s to be able to share with others so that they can know that they are not alone in their struggle…that even in their darkest times, someone has been in the same place.
The last few years, I have learned to believe that the gold being used in the cracks of my life were going to make me stronger…That the Lord’s plan was far better than I could think or imagine and that His ways are always higher than mine and that my tears weren’t without purpose…
With the struggle came the call to be able to share my story with others…to those who even told me that faith and clinical depression or any type of mental illness cannot coexist.
The call then developed into a deeper desire to be able to understand and minister to those who were hurting just like me.
I enrolled in 2016 to finish my bachelor’s degree and graduated in December 2017 from Lee University. I had the sense that I was not done yet, so, in, Summer 2018, I started my journey at the Pentecostal Theological Seminary to pursue my MA in Clinical Mental Health in Counseling.
I thought maybe nursing school was next BUT God had other plans… 
December 2017
I just finished my MA almost a month ago in hopes to get my licensure as a professional counselor. The journey is still ongoing as I get certified by the Board of Counseling in VA to be a Resident Intern and fulfill the hours needed to be able to get my LPC license after passing the National Counselor Examination.
It’s hard work but it’s all worth it!
The struggle, the hard work, the trials, the learning to balance being a wife, a mom of 4, working and ministry and being a full-time student has been a challenge but-all worth it!
Have I struggled along the way with the clinical depression?
YES-absolutely-to be honest, yes! My first full semester at the seminary, I had one of the worst and darkest times that occurred 2 weeks before finals. I heard the devil say to me, “This one, this bout of depression, this one is finally going to kill you!”
The difference this time is that I knew this was a lie! I had learned to recognize the voice of MY Father and He said, “You are going to be OK! This is one of those things you have to walk through but keep your eyes on ME and I will be with you!”
I did what I learned to do before-worship because that’s what has kept me alive. I sat behind the piano and sang worship songs from my heart to the Father; I increased my time with the Lord and begged for God to spare me once again. I determined to lift my hands up in the darkest valley because I knew that even though I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, He was with me, His rod and His staff did comfort me…
I continued to stand on His promise, “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
As I published my logo today, I see me, I see the gold as His handiwork in my life…He continues to work on me and I pray that through my life, I continue to let Him do the work and that I stay willing to let Him use the broken parts of me to be a testimony of what He has done and continues to do in my life! He truly does make beauty for ashes!
https://www.onmanorama.com/lifestyle/news/2019/12/04/japanese-art-kintsugi-philosophy.html
https://www.wellbeing.com.au/mind-spirit/mind/kintsugi-the-art-of-being-broken.html
