Dear Sister,
God has a perfect time and place for each of us. We often wonder what part we play in the ministry and ask different questions…
We think that the ministry is just our husband’s and we think that we aren’t a part of the bigger picture. When we read about God’s plan for us in Jeremiah 29:11, His promise is:
“He knows the plans He has for us and they are for good and not to harm us, plans that give us a hope and future.”
Sure, the adjustment is hard, our community and our friends are far from us. It’s like our first day of elementary or college or first day on the job again. For those of us who are naturally introverted in nature, starting over is so hard!
Making connections with our neighbor, let alone, the church members is the most challenging! Some of those who don’t know the fact that we are deathly afraid of change, seeing and meeting people stresses us out, play us out to be stuck-up, even worse, unfriendly and unapproachable. They wonder why our husband, who is the pastor is ALL about the people and we are not.
You want to know what I used to do? I used to go and check if the one of our baby’s needed a diaper change or be fed right before the benediction was given so that I didn’t have to really talk to anyone. I would also feel the need to check on kids church. When I could hear that the crowd had lessened, I would come out and talk to the ones I was most comfortable with. I could go on and on about how it’s “Too people-y out there,” but the STRUGGLE IS ALL TOO REAL!
There is hope for us…You are not strange at all and you are far from being unfriendly and unapproachable. Not all pastor’s wives have a hard time with people. There are a handful of us who do. That makes us special in a way and I want you to know that even in the silence, there is a purpose for us, and we aren’t mistakenly called to marry a pastor…My sister, God does not make mistakes!
Where you are and how you are as a person isn’t a bad thing! These challenges, even our introverted ways, gives God so much room to do so much and teach us! One thing that I really prayed for was for God to really open my eyes beyond my feelings of shyness and uncomfortableness to those who really need to be spoken to or ministered to. The Heavenly Father can use us, just like He did with Moses who basically said he couldn’t go to Pharaoh and speak to him because he had a speech problem.
Don’t get me wrong, I have such a long way to go, but if I stay willing to His voice and His challenges to get out of my comfort zones, I am being obedient to His call. Sister, my prayer for you is to see yourself as a person who is also called to come alongside of your husband, no matter what type of personality you are. Those unique traits that you have are being used to minister to your husband, your family and certain people in a way that ONLY You can!
Please hang in there! Don’t beat yourself up because you are not the pastor’s wife or person people expect you to be…I don’t even really know what that is and that will be another letter for another day…BE who God has called you to be, nothing less…He is always molding us into the woman of God that He wants us to be!
Love you,
May
